Calling All Candidates...

Recently, I attended a Democratic Party function honoring the volunteers from the 2006 election. It was a high-level event, held in a historical building. The food was catered, and all the important local politicos were there. Naturally, several speeches were made by said politicos.

During one of the speeches, a cell phone began ringing. No modest chirp here, or clip of classical music. No, this phone blared “Sexyback” from Justin Timberlake! It lay on a table filled with middle-aged women, who all began looking at one another. No one claimed the phone, so it continued its mating call, provoking giggles from around the room.

Finally, one of the women was brave enough to pick it up. “Hello? Who are you calling for?” She then handed to another woman at the table, saying, “It’s for you.”

The phone was in plain view of everyone at the table, including the owner, but she was too embarrassed to pick it up. I’m certain that she was worried that other people would think that she had no taste, was pretending to be young, was actually immature, or even had loose morals. I suppose it’s also possible that a teenage offspring downloaded the tone, but I was rooting for a secret naughty streak. Life doesn’t end at 40, as I well know.

Democratic politicians act the same way about gays sometimes. Less than two weeks ago, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was saying that her door would always be open to us. Yesterday, though, after the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff referred to homosexuality as ‘immoral’, she ducked the question when asked to agree or disagree with the statement. Barack Obama also sidestepped the question. Both issued statements later through their spokespeople, stating they disagreed with General Peter Pace. Since Hillary’s husband was the original institutor of the ‘Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell’ doctrine, she’s getting more press than Obama did.

Like the woman who didn’t want to admit the phone was hers, the Democratic Party is very good at wooing gays privately when it comes to volunteers and donations, then pretending like they don’t know us when the public is watching. I’m sure that both candidates went to check the polls before releasing politic statements through third parties. When will it occur to Democrats that the religious fundamentalists they want to draw in are more faithful to the Republican Party than their own wives? Furthermore, when will it occur to Hillary that both gays and fundamentalists have long memories?

Edwards was the only one that’s picked up the phone so far. From CNN:

BLITZER: First of all, in your opinion, is homosexuality immoral?

EDWARDS: I don't -- don't share that view. And I would go -- go further than that, Wolf. I think the don't ask, don't tell is not working. And as president of the United States I would change that policy.

Edwards is still balking on the marriage issue, but at least he was able to answer the ‘immoral’ question directly. He also said he wanted to end discrimination in this country, in general terms. Guess he’s not afraid of that ring tone.

Me, I favor the Addams Family theme. And I don’t get embarrassed when people laugh.